I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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