do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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