is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
