if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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