fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!