Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out

(1-917): View more from New York City

We've been saying that since '98

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(925): View more from California

I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs

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(+61): View more from Australia

Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.

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(773): View more from Illinois

At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off

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(904): View more from Florida

After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?

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