I look better un-naked...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.