don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
