really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
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