I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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