evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Nicole vs. Life
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
