I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
