Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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