Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
