I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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