smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
