im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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