She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
