Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I wish I only lived at night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
