I heard we made out
please come you make the beer taste better
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
