2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
