I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can't put those talents on a resume
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
