When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
