U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
