id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
