Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
