I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
