I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose