So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower