non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
