the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
