I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
