i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
