fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
