We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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