On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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