i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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