I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
