You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The struggles of a small town man whore
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
