i barfeds in our rink
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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