I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
