Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think weed is turning my hair brown
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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