She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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