My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
