? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
