It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
