i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
