it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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