please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
BRING THE BAGELS
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
