I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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