i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
