is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
