Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
