ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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