youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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