he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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