Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
