What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize