I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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