cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize