Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
