I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
