Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
