your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This is classic penis vs brain.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
