Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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