wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
